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Step back..
Thursday, December 4, 2008, 11:54 AM
Time has proven something.
How do I even start? Do I start talking about whats happening recently or the reasons why this sort of things are happening? For the reasons, I seriously don't know what is it, but I definitely know that loads of shit are happening and they are like lumps of puzzle pieces waiting to be done undone, I don't know. I've came across various post talking about friendship politics etc. etc.So whats the problem here? Not only we are distancing, even the group once called "Ben 10." In the past we were close, but time revealed that we were just a "perfect empty shell." I've seen what they typed and what they said could be true, but for me that is totally not the case. I feel as though there is a lack of understanding among us right now. The misunderstand is ridiculously huge. I don't seem to understand what they're thinking now. Just like the last quarrel we had, I really want to tell her that because I trust her, I had to continuously ask her if that "news" was true. Unfortunately she kept saying that it was true, even asked me to come along. Like I said, because I trust her, so obviously I took in what she said. When I voiced out my disagreement, everything just exploded again. I want to clear the misunderstanding, but I don't see the point in doing so anymore.
Another classic example. Why do people have to make things so complicated? Why can't you just skip an extra step? All of us are from the same IG. You owe me money, and I owe the seniors money as well. I take it that the amount is around the same, why can't you just return the money to the seniors on my behalf? Why must you make things complicated by giving it to me, and later I have to pass it to them again. Why can't you make things simple? All you have to do is tell the seniors "I'm returning you the cash on behalf of JK", and between us, we can settle it ourselves because we were friends. Whats the complication here? Whats so confusing about this? I really don't understand what you are thinking anymore. It feels as if we are in the wrong channel.
Even right now if we were to talk on MSN, I can feel the tension building because to me, they aren't the same old people I used to know, the same old people that used to understand me without me being so straight-forward, or was I the one who changed? I really don't know. They have their side of the story, I have my own and like I've said, there is no need for me to make my point. There are Ups and Downs in life, but from how I see it, it is always the Downs.
With our current situation now, its best for me not to continue with certain things. I guess for now it's time to leave things as it is. Hopefully time will heal the wound, because I'm willing to throw everything away if it can clear the misunderstand or the problems between us. You said that we are distancing, but have you though of why?
I don't want to pick who my friends are, I want them to come naturally. If they are not meant to be, then so be it.